Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
