If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
