What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
