I must be too annoying 4 u.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
