She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
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she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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