sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We're too hungover to prance.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
