It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You left your phone here
Wait...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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