so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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