3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
