i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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