last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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