I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
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Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
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Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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