i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
