Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
