Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
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You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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