What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
