K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
