i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
