i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
