Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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