Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
