The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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