this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
