Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
