The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
