I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
