Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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