just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
