you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Fuck me I smell like cheese
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
