I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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