ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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