is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
