They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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