her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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