Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
