can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
