he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
