is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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