She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
