I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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