piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
