Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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