After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
