It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
