I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
