Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.

(505): View more from New Mexico

The Rock won.

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(714): View more from California

First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now

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(703): View more from Virginia

is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?

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(317): View more from Indiana

I got her a Nickelback box set.

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(386): View more from Florida

he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it

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(678): View more from Georgia

He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I think he fucked my hip out of place.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression

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