when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
