Betty ford says i'm here all night
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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