8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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