Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
