Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
