This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
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If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
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Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize