having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
