he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
