Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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